#no not those kind of rubs
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seb wants to be pet, too 😤💕 ((TYSM to @angel-fr0m-venus for asking how seb would react to clora petting all the cats around the school/hogsmeade BAHAHA. like a neglected puppy, thats how🐶))
#and thank you for the kind words as well!! im glad you like my content so much your ask was so sweet🥹💖and ty for the inspo!!#i like how yesterday i was all OH ART WILL BE SLOWER and then i immediately finish this and post it LOL.. this was supposed to be a doodle#i was getting my ass handed to me in elden ring last night and needed a break.......my spirit can only take so much#hogwarts legacy#sebastian sallow#sebastian sallow x mc#sebastian sallow x oc#clora clemons#hogwarts legacy sebastian#choccyart#my family had to put our 18 year old black cat down this month so thats why i made clora petting a black cat🥲 MAY have teared up#also clora has a pet cat named winnie that seb knows about so i assume when he watches her pet all the cats hes like aw u miss him#but that only goes so far until he gets jelly and then HE wants rubs LOL#no not those kind of rubs#but also yes those kind of rubs🍆
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me when the narrative revolves around cycles and loops and repeated patterns on levels far greater than the characters have control over, or even knowledge of: >:)
#qsmp#tbh I’ve been expecting a reset of some kind since we saw all those old buildings like week one#rubbing my little hands together. themes. motifs.
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Randomly consumed today by the thought of henghill cuddles, but like from a specific point in their relationship, like after they've only recently started laying in the same bed together.
It's something that takes them a long time to work up to; they both have nightmares, and yeah, Dan Heng is a Vidyadhara and he can heal himself beyond anything Boothill could accidentally do to him, but still. Boothill is made of metal now. He's heavy. It wouldn't take much, just a single flailing limb to cause some damage. He still gets up after Dan Heng falls asleep, and sneaks down into the guest cabin in one of the other cars.
But he'll lay in bed with Dan Heng until then. At first Boothill would always try to situate a blanket between them, because well. Metal isn't exactly pleasant to cuddle. But more and more lately, he's noticed Dan Heng keeps worming his way around their soft barrier and just kind of...rubbing his hand along him? Open palm up the curve of his side, across the planes of his chest, into the star-shape at his solar plexus, down the plates of his abdomen, back to his side again. Fingertips tap soundlessly against metal, or press into dents and divots, or smooth over old scars in the steel.
"Ya don't hav'ta do that, ya know."
"Does it bother you?"
Dan Heng's hand has already stopped, settling somewhere on the futon, neutral ground. Boothill clarifies that no, it doesn't bother him. But he can't feel any of it. He only knows he's doing it because he can see the motion out of the corner of his eye. Dan Heng doesn't need to go through the extra effort to do things for him like he would someone with a normal human body.
And Dan Heng goes quiet, just long enough that Boothill gets curious and turns to look at him over his shoulder. He has the cute little furrow between his brows, like when he's thinking.
And then he opens that pretty mouth of his and says, "That's alright, I think I'm doing it for myself, anyway" and Boothill nearly wheezes because wow, Dan Heng is almost never quite that honest when it comes to himself fdklsajlkd
Boothill cackles in surprise and asks point blank what he means, because what could he be getting out of that? Given the implied permission, Dan Heng's hand starts it's usual route again. Side, chest, solar plexus, abdomen, side. Boothill can practically hear him chewing on his words.
"I like that you're warm," is what he finally says, and Boothill suddenly feels like a bullet has just grazed something vital. "All the processes you run increase your temperature," Dan Heng's hand fans out across a span of steel and he holds it there, like he's soaking up the heat. "And your metal is smooth, it feels pleasant to touch," his fingertips move in circles, slip into a divot perfectly sized, rub back and forth. Boothill silently wills one of his cooling fans threatening to open up to stay closed.
"I like how you feel under my hands. That's all." Headshot! No recovery possible.
"...Suit yerself, then," and Boothill quickly turns back over before Dan Heng can see it in his face, how close he just hit to his heart.
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#hsr dan heng#hsr boothill#pardon me I read a really really good porno this morning and was feeling inspired fjdklasjfkld#Look soft fuzzy super plush things are my faves- but nice smooth metal is so so nice too.#you know those fidget toys that are silky smooth material and they just have like a perfect little divot to rub the pad of your thumb into?#that's the kind of thing I'm getting at.#plus. plus!!#Dan Heng seems to dislike the cold. And we see why in 2.4 when he comments that the Shackling Prison is as cold as he remembers it.#And Dan Heng sleeps in the archive for a reason. he likes the sense of security in there.#it's a huge deal for him after being so violently hunted for so long#and I love the thought that Boothill reminds him of that. He's warm and he whirs and he's made of metal like some of the machinery in there#Dan Heng likes that regardless of whether he realizes why or not.#he likes to touch him. he just likes how he feels <3#and I think that would be something important to Boothill too because like. I don't think he HATES his body or anything.#but he didn't exactly get it under happy circumstances. and he does consider his human body as a toll that had to be paid.#he refers to any malfunctions as frightening to other people in one of his parlor car lines.#he refers to himself as a man already dead.#So I think it would hit a little harder than Boothill's prepared for to hear Dan Heng not only doesn't mind but even likes his body as it i#they're so sweet I love them so much uweh#hsr#dan heng#boothill#my fics
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what's with that "fucked up ships" poll having both utenanthy and . akio and anthy in it. like huhwhat.
#what definition of “fucked up” are we going for here because i don't think those belong in. the same category of.. anything??#also. people calling akio and anthy a “ship” just rubs me the wrong way to begin with.#not because i necessarily think it means people are romanticizing it because i know there are 5000 different definitions of the word#but just because it makes it out to be some kind of fandom thing instead of just. you know. a part of the show?#like do we really need a fandom-ified word for every time there is a relationship protrayed in a story.#i'm not a fan of calling utenanthy a ship either for similar reasons but at least i know what people mean when they say it#(and yes i know “ship” is just a shortened form of “relationship” but they do have different connotations and it just pisses me off a little#when people seem to be allergic to using the full word in contexts where it is a lot more applicable.#that's just me being a fandom/shipping culture hater though)
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i only just found your au and i need everyone to have a happy ending so badly im gonna cry ;-; sally is gonna be so freakin upset when she wakes up for real and sees she decimated barnaby.
oh, Barnaby already has his arm stitched back on when she wakes up! and really, even if he didn't, that'd be the Least of her worries. she wakes up into a Real nightmare - partially of her (unintentional) making
#happy endings... well... yes and no. depends on what act you look at#act one? no! actually things get So Much Worse in an entirely festive new way!#act two? eh! sorta! its more bittersweet than anything#act three and four blend into each other so much that three doesn't have an 'ending'#but the final act - act four... well. who's to say! im still workshopping what i want to happen#but i do know it's still gonna have at Least a bittersweet tinge to it#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#there are consequences and not everyone Makes It. i dont like stories where everything wraps up perfectly fine#even if it hurts! i like it when things hurt in a good way. those stories where the ending is overall positive#but Enough Happened that its just... its an ache. looking at where someone used to be. you know?#my favorite shows and books and fics have ended with me smiling while sobbing bc it yes it Hurts but it was So Fucking Good#and while i wouldnt be able to handle rewatching/rereading due to Emotional Damage...#i think of them fondly and often and theyre Important to me#perfectly happy endings just rub me wrong. it always feels like there's something Missing despite it all being idyllic#i cant let my own stories - original or aus or whatever - have that kind of end#so if thats what people are hoping for! you've come to the wrong person and the wrong au!#i like to be kind but that rarely extends to my creative works!#i like it messy and painful and bittersweet and i like to be Ruthless with my creations with no compromise#sometimes characters need to fight. or leave. or die. or make serious mistakes. etc.#but anyway! anyway....#i will say that there isn't a happy ending for Everyone. and for others it's... complicated. again - bittersweet
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there's something that bothers me so much whenever i read or see magic reveal concepts that involve "i'm more mad you lied to me than i am about the magic how could you keep such a big secret from me" and i finally realized its because it feels so. dismissive of merlin's struggle? him having to watch people with magic be arrested or executed or burned day after day after day, to listen to the people closest to him so casually refer to it as evil, as though that were an unquestionable fact, having to live every single day less and less sure he could ever be accepted after hiding so long and seeing so much.
like in general but esp as a queer person, seeing these takes that make a magic reveal just about "why didn't you tell me don't you trust me" when actually the characters did not really give merlin much reason to trust they would be accepting (and in fact often in their very reactions demonstrate exactly why he was hesitant), and even if they had he lives!!! in a place where it is literally illegal!!!! like it is so frustrating to constantly see these perspectives where arthur or the knights angrily question why merlin couldn't tell them and merlin just being silent in response, when its so beyond clear how difficult a position merlin was in.
merlin is almost never the main character in his own magic reveal scenarios beyond just worrying about the other person liking him again, and while i get why that is, since its the other person's perspective shifting usually, its still frustrating because its meant to be a culmination of his life's struggle and finally a full realization and acceptance of himself, and i wish we could see more of that: more of merlin's own messy emotions towards having to hide for so long, over fearing his own friends, over suppressing who he is, over getting used to being open about it for the first time in his entire life.
#bbc merlin#merlin#arthur pendragon#knights#this post is not aimed at anyone or anything in particular#and i hope i'm not coming off aggressively or anything#but its just a very common trend i've noticed and have been kind of frustrated over#also i mentioned arthur and the knights in the post cause they're usually the ones i see this with#weirdly gwen often just unquestioningly accepts merlins magic despite the fact that her father literally being executed for it combined wit#-morgana's betrayal would probably leave her with some complicated feelings about magic as a whole#gee i wonder why it is that her reaction is just skimmed over as easy 🤔#anyway that's a Whole Other post the point here is#i want more of everyone realizing how hard it was for merlin#and more of merlin realizing how hard it was on himself#instead of reveal fics that almost always involve merlin comforting arthur/the other person#like there's a place for those but it just rubs me the wrong way given the whole setup#and how analogous magic is to queerness#res rambles
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About the new Rainbow High episode, wasn't them using Sunny's things for the project kind of- inconsiderate? Since they couldn't ask her for permission.
I dunno, but if someone turned one of my plushies into a bag without asking, I'd be mad.
#those kinds of bags are really cool but you wouldn't want someone to use your things without your knowledge; right?#it just rubbed me the wrong way#rainbow high#sunny madison#rätposting
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i need a little notes section to be added to all block list functions in social media bc my goldfish memory having ass don't always remember why i blocked someone
see i looove blocking ppl and curating my online experience with wild abandon, but that means it can be anything from 'this person is a fucking terf' to 'this person is harmless but has annoying opinions about fictional characters i like' to 'this person once said mango was disgusting and i took it personally'
so now tumblr or whatever is telling me i have a mf blocked and i gotta sit there and wonder if they're a bigot or just have bad opinions on cheesecake
#like are they a rabid bigot? do they think liking x fictional character means ur evil? do they spout 'no kink at pride' bullshit?#do they think thoughtcrimes are real? do they have the habit of woobifying ur favorite character?#were they a little too excited about the death of some random anime character and it put u off?#did they reblog one of those 'have you heard this song' polls and have utter dogshit opinions on your favorite song?#are they kind of a dick with a bully type sense of humor that rubs u the wrong way? do they just rly fuckin hate cheesecake for some reason#all these and more are reasons i can remember off the top of my head for blocking someone lol#i rarely remember why i blocked someone but i often remember the feeling of 😒 that inspired it lol#so i can usually trust past me even if i don't remember why i blocked someone#tho if i take the time to rifle through an acc i blocked the reason why usually eventually becomes evident#i am at least consistent lol#sketchy speaks
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having a crazy saturday night (reading the wikipedia page of eleanor roosevelt at 3 am)
#tay talks#deeply fascinating woman btw. the roosevelts? messy. obsessed with them#but also man#reading through these and seeing things teddy roosevelt did (who def had his issues) that were deeply anti big/private company#and was generally anti-capitalist and wanted protections for the environment and for the people#and looking @ now. just. Man. LMAO#anyways eleanor is so interesting. and also weirdly kind of disability advocate but unofficially so? LMAO#ALSO WAS A BI ICON UNOFFICIALLY SO? this woman truly has everything#idk everything going on has me like damn....i need to go back and look @ old political stuff.#those who do not know/learn history are doomed to repeat it etc etc#ive also been watching a lot of gilmore girls i think rory is rubbing off on me LKJDLGKJSDKG
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I don’t know, me personally, I just think two adults playing pretend & pretending being gross together with full open communication & consent between them is harmless, but maybe that’s just me.
#this is very much a vague post if there ever was one & I’m absolutely vagueing#again; pay attention to the wording & reread if you need to#I think adults playing pretend on its own is harmless as long as everyone involved consents to it#idk how much more simply I can put this tbh but had to unfollow someone over saying certain kinks are harmful#like wow okay if they knew my other blog they’d be saying I’m an absolute freak probably tbh#always seems to be younger folks who have the unhealthy takes about kink but in this case i cant say nothing yknow?#idk this person & they're going through some stuff so i can't really say anything without it sounding tone policing plus parasocial#but just because bad people like a kink doesn't make a kink bad; trauma too doesn't make a kink bad; uncomfortable maybe but not harmful#just like in general yknow? its only as harmful as you make it between yourself & others. Everyone has to communicate or the whole thing#will fall apart. In this case there was absolutely some communication issues which lead to trauma but also just seeing someone agree that#a kink I like is harmful is like idk made me super uncomfortable even if the person is traumatized & going through it still just yeesh#idk seeing someone you follow for a while be like 'yeah this kink you like is bad' when by itself its actually harmless just leaves a#bad taste in your mouth if that makes sense. it just really rubbed me the wrong way so mmm 😕#I hope that person gets all the help & support they need; I'm just uncomfy with the rhetoric of 'certain kink bad' when its just like not#you're traumatized actually is what's going on & that person who hurt you was into said kinks so now in your brain those r bad#absolutely fair way to feel; but adults playing pretend with these specific ones is absolutely not inherently harmful#& pushing that kind of mindset is also coincidentally something right wingers especially want right now & commonly so yeah no#I just bleh it makes me feel gross when other people say stuff akin to that like oh that's like SWERF rhetoric even if unintentional jeez 😓#mine#op
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how did you decide which musicians to include based off of the submissions?
So most of the competitors were submitted to me, and then I added in the rest myself based on who I was surprised not to see. There were really no rejects in the submissions unless they were too young or made music too late.
#btw for the people saying that i strategically picked who faced who so that certain people could win#i did not#it was random#idk if you were joking or not but it kind of bothers me because if it was intentional#i would not have put any frontrunners against each other right away#and i certainly wouldn't have put my faves against tough competition#sorry but those comments just really rubbed me the wrong way
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i've been seeing this dash game going around, so i thought i'd join in on the fun :D and thus...
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#*rubs hands together evilly* muahahah#i'm honestly kind of surprised that i didn't get at least one spicy choice related to blamore here NGL but JSJSJ oh well i suppose#the worship choice is spicy in it's own way though 👀 so uhhh. who knows maybe a few of those will come in tehe#rp memes.#dash games.
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Got to the part where Roman and Neo properly meet and I swear to ass if they go for a romantic angle with these two, I will vomit
#rwde#can i just say i DESPISE the whole 'ive never met someone like this before' trope when it's a first meeting#that shits always romantic coded and lame as hell#make them work for their dynamic dammit! you cant just skip the awkward intro phase to dive into the soul mate phase#esp when those characters are repressed and traumatized as hell. that makes this shit even *less* likely#i dont mind when theres a certain click to start off - ive experienced it myself - but you still gotta build on that and that takes time#i also just dont think Neo and Roman have that kind of chemistry#hardcore ride or die soul mates but in a familial way rather than romantic ya feel me?#anyway i dont think itll actually happen but that that makes the inclusion of this scene so fucking weird#Neo even BLUSHES#thats the hallmark romance sign in rwby itself!#and roman suddenly getting a bumbling tongue is just weird and unnecessary#smth abt it rubs me the wrong way but i cant quite discern why yet
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mine craft !!
#mine#i did cartography today like i said i would!!!!! it was lovely#i found...hmmmm what did i find#a few normal biomes...taigas and dark forests and frozen peaks or whatever#and some modded ones...yellowstone...rocky mountains...et cetera#found two villages one alive one abandoned...got some decent loot...saw some goats...and some beautiful views#adopted a third dog!!!! idk what variant she is she looks a bit like a hyena or a siamese cat. super cute#i named her hana :) i decided all my dogs will have names ending in a lol#laika and hana are named after bbhf songs freya is just a name i like#and then in the abandoned village i found the most BEAUTIFUL kitty cat and i adopted him too and named him alistair#(hana and alistair only took 1 bone/1 fish each to tame!! and i remember laika only took 2!! so lucky)#anyway i brought them all home AND i brought a few pigs into the barn :) yayyy#next project i think will have to be making a basement of some kind...#i think theres actually a tunnel or something under my house so ill have to work with that lol#but i brought a bunch of work blocks from the village so i need to put those to use plus i have an enchantment table now#and more cartography of course...rubs my hands together evilly#i accidentally made an x4 map a while ago so i think my first 4 x3 maps will just be the ones covering the same terrain as that one#when the x4 is done i'll frame it above my bed. cutes :) and maybe i'll use the basement space to make the mega-map using the x3s#im going to have more than 4 x3s obviously. im not a casual. but u know
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not that im against vampire politics (obviously, given the context) but given the setting present prevalence of monsters and given how relatively uncommon vampires specifically are there theres no way theyre a big enough deal to have their own little society imposed on top of the larger populace outside of holdout areas. and especially not in that kind of converging point city/area no matter how much lina wants make shit all vampires all the time. theyre just super outnumbered by the witches and animalfolk and otherwise mortal monsters who keep trying to secede from new york and make their own cities or communes or whatever.
#i dont think they rub up as much against other undead parties just because those dont tend to try to have cohesive Groups like some vamps#tend to do. and also because you kind of have to adopt a the enemy of my enemy attitude with the death police#personal
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the fact that the comforting physical touch i yearn for lives in my memory almost exclusively attached to someone truly awful is so fucking infuriating
#every time i think about the kind of touch i want to offer someone#soothing on shoulders or rubbing hair back or head on my lap or whatever#the only FUCKING memories i have are HIM#i have a few tiny things with my friends in college but what i yearn for#is so thoroughly tainted by my one true and terrible experience#and i hate it so much i want to scream until there’s nothing left#i can’t have a fucking concrete image in my mind when i read or hear about those kinds of affectionate touches without remembering scum#i wish finding a therapist wasn’t so goddamn hard#b:personal#text post
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